There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
It's a good landing if you can still get the doors open.
It's a good landing if you can still get the doors open.
The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
In a twin-engine aircraft, the purpose of the second engine is to supply the pilot with enough power to fly to the scene of the crash.
When a prang seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity, as slowly and gently as possible. - Advice given to RAF pilots during W.W.II.
When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No-one has ever collided with the sky.
Airspeed, altitude or brains: Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.
When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten. - Robert Livingston, "Flying The Aeronca"
Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day. - Layton A. Bennett
Never fly the 'A' model of anything. - Ed Thompson
A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum. - Jon McBride, astronaut
If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible. - Bob Hoover
If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; Ride the bastard down. - Ernest K. Gann, advice from the 'old pelican'
Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you. - Richard Herman, Jr., 'Firebreak'
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life to experience all three at the same time.
Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
The three most common expressions in aviation are, "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh Crap".
A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication.
Helicopters are for the rich... or the enlisted.
I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.
We have a perfect record in aviation: we never left one up there!
If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter - and unsafe.
Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.
Helicopters don't fly... they just beat the air into submission.
Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it.
What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous. But to an even greater degree than the sea, it is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness, incapacity or neglect. - Captain A. G. Lamplugh
In flying I have learned that carelessness and overconfidence are usually far more dangerous than deliberately accepted risks. - Wilbur Wright in a letter to his father, September 1900
The ultimate responsibility of the pilot is to fulfill the dreams of the countless millions of earthbound ancestors who could only stare skyward and wish.
Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage / classic helicopter fly-ins?
A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the aeroplane again.
Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory... in other words, for every take-off, there WILL be a landing.
Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
One of the most important skills that a pilot must develop is the skill to ignore those things that were designed by non-pilots to get the pilot's attention.
A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them trying to become random in motion.
It's always better to be down on the ground wishing you were up in the air than up in the air wishing you were down on the ground.
The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another aircraft going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal the number of take-offs you've made.
Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. However, there are no old, bold pilots.
If you're ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the landing lights to see the landing area. If you don't like what you see, turn' em back off.
Always remember you fly an aeroplane with your head, not your hands.
"Unskilled" pilots are always found in the wreckage with their hand around the microphone.
Remember that the radio is only an electronic suggestion box for the pilot. Sometimes the only way to clear up a problem is to turn it off.
Flying the aircraft is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.
It is solely the pilot's responsibility to never let any other thing touch his aircraft.
You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
Things which do you no good in aviation: The sky above you. The runway behind you. The fuel still in the truck. Half a second ago. Approach plates in the car. The airspeed you don't have.
What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
An aircraft may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise him.
There are only two things required to fly a modern airliner: a pilot and a dog. It's the pilot's job to feed the dog. It's the dog's job to bite the pilot if he touches anything in the cockpit.
Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.
Passengers prefer old captains and young flight attendants.
The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a copilot who once was a captain.
It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.
Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase head wind.
It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You just start off with a large fortune.
A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.
The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after making a gear up landing is to put the gear selection lever in the 'down' position.
You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.